Money is everything?

 Tho its very much lacked in our lives. We try to hide it, pursue for more, do all sorts of evil or good to get more of it.
It causes very pain and happiness when it is involved.
Actually it involves in everything we do in our daily life.  
It makes and breaks your destiny… Its can do all things many of us can only wish for. 
No matter how we say it ” Best things in life are free”.  Does the best things in life keep us breathing?
Only thing I can think of things keeping me happily alive and its free…is…. my friends ( your the best)… air we breathe.
Best things in life are free…for everything else…there is mastercard. 

Im not driving to any point…aimless rants. 
Its almost impossible to live one day without spending a single cent.

Media just confirmed…

Happiness is cash…

Happiness received… 
Happiness is in da form of papers with another person's face on it.
that person on da paper is worrying about money rite now….

Emo pic of the year….

 

” Where is the love?”……. sigh….

Unknown Fear…

Started when things are ok…nothing special is going.  
There isn’t any tell tale signs… 
It just creeps up to you without a warning…

I was sitting down after lunch… havin a nice cuppa tea… lit my favourite stick…
Watchin the tube hanging from the wall…
Then…it just grabs you by your head…then slowly moves down to the heart.

It was so loud and clear….

“i am afraid………. but I don’t know what”

Smiling down from above…

Somehow some of my buds have a certain special connections or powers to the “Light” , I still remain un-enlighten to it.
I am not troubled or feeling any wee bit of discomfort about not having that ability. Just feeling dat bit of amazed and dazzled and curious…all rolled into one.

Actually I don't need see, feel, hear the other side…. I know it exist. I know its there. I know she is there shining down on us all.
She is in a better place smiling down. I don't understand alot of things. I don't need either.
I wish that the people's lives she had touched became somewhat better…
Things she had done…become becomes part of the beautiful memories that we can reminiscence to.

Like Fed up had said : “Tho she had left us physically but….something something something”

Being in THE CIRCLE or TRIANGLE for so long… i feel u… somehow… not all the things..but somehow…some ways.

I do wish I could write more…but i am afraid i the more i write… the more chances of triggering unpleasant senses.

 

So……………….

 

In loving memory….

Jing Ting

After 2 yrs of hiding, my brother finally told me that I have another niece..

He is not married… but still same gf that he had a few years ago. I am sure he got his own set of problems to think about.

He got his reasons for hiding this flesh n blood from my parents, which i didnt want to probe any further than he wants to.

Yesterday… I saw her…such a beautiful face… talks like an angel… 

Why wouldn't she be shy…after all this uncle only appears after 2 years…

Then again… its not my fault. Its no one's… But yet…. i feel sad for her.. .for my parents… i really do feel that sadness given at this situation tho no one is sad. I would not know…
She wasnt given a choice to know her grandparents…
She wasnt given a chance to know her uncles…
She wasnt given a chance to know she has cousins.
My parents wasnt given a chance to hold another beautiful granddaugther, they would definitely be excited.
My parents should have the right to know they have another branch in the family tree..
My other niece n nephew would be excited to know they have a cousin…

Then again…like i mentioned above… everyone has their own set of problems…
Maybe its better that way for her…at least that what my brother feel given the situation at home.
Maybe its better for my mum…
You will not know how bad the situations can be unless you are in it… so never say…
“I know how u feel, dont dwell in it” ” I have been there done that,…. blah blah blah.”
Because you will never know unless you are the person given same situations, same person, same brain, same feelings.

Just thank god she is a fine n beautiful chick….

Black Manic

This page is for u…my Black Manic.

I love u ok… Don't do what u did last night ok. Dont throw tantrums ya.
 
I know you have aged abit but you still kick alot of asses. I love u ok.

U are like the magic gust of wind at night, 

which brushes across your face that sends tingling sensation down my spine

U gave me high when I was low.

U bring to places i have never been.

Don't go dead on me ok. Sayang…. Sayang….

I'll bring u to service n spa treatment soon ok?

 

Elavator conversation

I was in the lift with my brother this morning…
Bro : Sigh… every chinese year for past 10 years…i am broke. How man?

Noobber : Sigh… i know what u mean. Dont know when was the last time I actually have money to buy CNY clothes without thinkin how to survive for the rest of the month.

Bro : Every year seems getting from bad to worse. Dont know is it because of the age. Totally no mood.

Noobber : No… it getting bad to worse due to how we feel n the vibes da whole family is giving is just quarrels n fights, worries and stress.

Bro : How to be happy like that? How to get feel comfortable??

Noobber : ( Gave a blank look )….

Somehow this conversation had led me to a heavy start to my day… 

I don't have solutions to every fuck thing… i don't need to solutions to everything… I jolly damn well not obligated to have soutions to every damn thing. 

But I am bothered by being solution-less to every damn thing. 
I am as clueless as many people out there. 
Many things to think about… but nothing will surface…
Den why bother thinking about it? 
Cos we are given a mind to think for ourselves….

Fuck!! one of those days when you are just not yourself.
Talkin crap… talkin to myself. 
 Breathe in…. breathe out…..breathe in….breathe out…

Stupid singaporean…duno how to read signs…I AM NOT FROM THE SAME ORGANISATION!!
I dont know doesnt mean I am incompetent. Say ” Thank you”…” Please”… u motherfreakin snob!!
I dont owe u money  “YOU motherless unruly FOOL!!”… dun give me that look.

My first mark.

After many years of hesitation….
After many years of procrastination…
After many years of coming to a compromise with oneself.

Its finally done…I have, left the hesitation zone, escape from clutches of procrastination, endless talking to myself.

My Artist with a gold necklace….

My Artist inducing pain after I said she had a gold necklace around her neck

,
” How can I increase the pain level to this bugger who said I got a gold necklace…Damn it!!!”

 
I'm tied to the chair… both hands spread eagle.

Predator's Self destruct device on my arm…

Light : May it shine down on those paths which are darken.
May it brighten the roads ahead for anyone related to me in every other way.
Bring wisdom to our daily choices we make…

Hope the ones we missed…be safely embraced by the light….
The ones in need of healing.. be heal by the light…

Thank you again Ms Wolfie for giving me my 1st mark. Its lovely…