Yes, I can!

” Pen down the thoughts” Thats what my head keep reminding me this past few months.

I kept asking myself ” Why??”. Nothing seems to bring my spirits up… have i tried hard enough to surround myself with happy thoughts? happy things? happy people? Does it really mean if i were to do all that, i am guaranteed happiness? Does one really can feel true happiness if one is able to do all that?

They say, ” You cannot feel happiness if you don’t know sadness”. Why do i keep feeling the latter? Don’t worry~ I am not feeling those kinda ‘ i wana die’ sadness. Nooo..not enough to make me wana die la. But the negative feelings seems more real, last longer and leaves more vivid impressions.

Am i the only one who sometimes stay up at night thinking my future is not so bright?

“What is it that makes you so fuckin emo la??” You are affecting your life! your affecting your love ones! you are affecting your well being! Get a fucking life and fucking wake up your fucked up ideas!! You have issues?? then fucking deal with it! The world doesnt stop turning, people around you wouldn’t put a stop in their tracks just to give u a helping hand! Cos you are always fuckin feeling down! People can’t always stop to give you a helping hand….. Just freakin wake up your bloody idea la~

 

Bottled anger

Why can’t I have a normal mother like everyone else. A mum that knows what she is doing. A mum that remembers what she says or do. A mum that who is healthy…
I need to accept… I need to understand… I need to acknowledge..

 

Riding Up North~

It’ss been a while since i have the chance or have the liberty of taking time off to take a trip up north.
I am not talking about just Malaysia.
I mean I want to go all theway to thailand or somewhere even further. Pack up my bags leave my job behind and just turn my throttle to where it might bring me.

I really miss the time when I truely able to just ride and dont care about my job…the people around me, my parents or how much money i have in my bank account.
Truely enough, no money in bank means no petrol in my gas tank. Admire/ jealousof those 2 guys in the TV show Nat Geo Adventures where they just ride around the world. But i am sure they are sponsored in some ways. And they have to be ang mohs… why are there no asians willing or marketable enough to do this?
Asians…. is all about money hungry… FUCK THAT!

Deep down inside… i know i cannot be irresponsible towards my family… my girlfriend. As for my friends…i am sure they will encourage me to just hop onto that bike n ride off and do something that makes you …you.

Oh what the hell…. who am i kidding? Sigh….
Whatever… outz….

 

Bye bye 2010, Hello 2011

I don’t know how 2010 has just ended. At least i know … 2010 has been a good journey. ( Lets end it with a positive note.) Nothing drama or drastic happened. Well, its good enough for me this way.
Low profile kinda life suits me… i guess.
What I want in my 20s is different from what i expect in my 30s.
In 20s, i guess its more about living recklessly.
Now in 30s, its more about being aware of the steps i am taking.

2011 = 34year old = not young.
Tend to think of things that i don’t have rather than focus things I already have.

Pls let me be a more ” open minded/ bigger heart person.
Pls find me the strength to be more kind and patient when i am at home.
I think as long as i have the love… these thgs will come naturally. So does it mean i am not a loving person?? Doesnt matter.
I keep my friends close….I keep my enemies closer.
I will remember who have done me good and who has sinned against me.

Hello 2011~

I don’t really expect alot from you. I shall start this year with an
” ATTITUDE of GRATITUDE”.
Thank you instead of hankering.
Find me strength to keep + practice to the words I preached.

And also, to my firends…soon be friends ( D n S)…my family and last but not least… Ms Yong~
” We might not know what is ahead… but as long as I got all of you…. I am good.”
May this New year be a year of happiness and fruitful returns.~!

 

33th B’day

Its the time of the year where I update my blog  so that i can remember What I did for my this bday, that bday.~

as always, it was spent with good old company.

As lazy as i am, I jus paste the link, so I can refer back in years to come.

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/album.php?aid=230064&id=743720125

Thanks to Karen darling to do the coordination, my frds namely, photographer who without fail attended every of my “happening” bday & his woman friend ” X”, Jamie, sas and Nurse~

I wish i can speak more into the feelings turning 33… but i guess if i write more.. i will fall into depression. HAHAA!

But all in all, THANK YOU GUYS~~

 

Blog… me?

Yeah, i know.. Me no blog long time. Actually I am lazy. 100% just plain lazy. I would like to just blame it on other things but.. i’ll leave it as i am just lazy. Many months have passed. Many things had happened. Many people I came across and forget.

With the possession of an iphone, many thoughts and words can be just announced to the world in less than 3mins. So…yeah.. i am lazy. So i am posted to a ” NEW, BIGGER BETTER” branch. I got a promotion, I got a pay raise… But i somehow feel……. like a hello i would give a aquaintence. No content, no jumping in joy, no excitement invovled. Its like i eaten an extra grain of rice or two. I felt NOTHING. Maybe i should deserve more, i expect more, i WANT more. I mean, who wouldn’t?

Been lan gaming alot lately… so i guess, my thoughts n words are put on hold till all the zombies are killed and all the gas tank are filled up. So for those who play Left 4 dead 2. Here is my fav melee weapon~

Anyway, there is no such weapon i L4D2. HAHAHA! LMAO~

 

Truth…

Shaky Lengthy roads,  reveals the strength of one’s Legs…

Long Stressful Days, reveals the true color  of one’s heart….

 

I resolve…

This brand new year… needs brand new resolutions. I usually didn’t keep or practice it enough to make the previous year’s resolution a completed one.

But~~

This year, I will keep it minimum and achieveable. And whether I realised it or not… depends on the mainly on me and other people around me letting me know.

#1~ I resolve to be more generous with compliments without being fake. Nice words doesn’t hurt anybody.

#2 ~ I resolve to accept things i cannot change, change the things I cannot accept

#3 ~ Be more patient with my mum and my family. Go home with a smile and maintain that smile.

#4 ~ Stay healthy, smoke 1 stick less per week.

How about yours?

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE ~

 

Xmas Eve dinner~

Here’s our little effort to make us a 5 Star gourmet dinner~

Ingredients includes:

Average Ribeye x 2: $27

King oyster mushroom : $4

Corn Bits : $1.40

Campbells chicken with herbs soup: $2.20

Red/White wine ( Brown Brothers) : (Ms Karen bought it) Dunno how much~

Seasoning sauce : $8

The faces of delight on our faces… : Priceless….

To show off  the how delicious it was…

Anyway, its thanks Ms karen for the wine, her prize buy “  Tefal Pan ” and her willing-ness to share a “5 Star dinner” which is not so 5 star…

After dinner math…. dish washing… no prize for guessing rite…

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

 Me….

 

HAPPY HOLIDAYS FRieNdS~

Have Fruitful and a Merry little Christmas my friends~ Thanks for visiting here to waste ur t ime reading~ Thanks~

May this season bring you lotsa bliss and happiness from within~

MERRY CHRISTMAS~~~ !!